There’s a scene in one of the Harry Potter books where Harry is standing with Dumbledore and they are looking into the pensieve, a contraption of sorts where you can pluck memories from your head and store them. Dumbledore speaks about there being times when his mind is buzzing with so many thoughts and memories that you actually need to store away some of them to deal with them in peace later, much to the bafflement of Harry who can’t recall facing a similar situation. Ruminating over a decision taken in the recent past suddenly reminded me of this particular incident from Harry Potter and thought I could relate!
Too many new things happen in our lives where we’re unsure of how to react. Not unsure as just the ‘I don’t know what is an appropriate reaction’ but also unsure as to ‘I really don’t know what I want to react’! And how nice it’d be to have a pensieve, to mull over them in detail later on. A continuation of what I have been feeling since around placement time in XL, how do you follow your heart if it doesn’t know what it wants!
Writing would be therapeutic I once told someone. I think once upon a time I believed so. I want that feeling back. You need to be disarmingly candid though for that I guess and okay to people seeing you vulnerable. I’m reminded of Akshay Khanna in Dil Chahata Hai, I want all the doors to be shut! A senior I admire recently told me that he’d stopped writing alltogether because of the the dissonance between what you feel and what you write. ‘And at one point of time, I somehow thought I lost the real me in the process..’. Indeed. So more writing and less posting perhaps, atleast till one is brave enough a la Shah Rukh Khan 😛
Destiny seems like a very chick-flick concept! But surely it is all written somewhere…too many things that I see happening which you couldn’t have explained anyway else. Especially over the last couple of years, one realises how little is in your hands. Sometimes you just let go, stop over-thinking what decisions fate makes for you. Placements, grades, courses, friends. See Match Point. May not be Woody Allen’s best work but one that rings true time and again. You end up meeting Devi destiny way too often… on a path you took to avoid her! But I like believing in it. I find I crib or complain a lot less these days because of it! As Dev Patel tells us all in The Best Exotic Marigold Hotel, ‘everything will be all right in the end… if it’s not all right then it’s not the end’!
From the same movie:
Evelyn: Nothing here has worked out quite as I expected.
Muriel: Most things don’t. But sometimes what happens instead is the good stuff.